We’ve all been there…You meet someone who’s a little rough around the edges, and suddenly you think you’re starring in your own Egyptian drama.

“They just need someone to believe in them!” you tell yourself.

“I can fix him!”

But here’s the harsh truth: you’re not their therapist, you’re not their savior, and love isn’t supposed to be a self-improvement project. You’re not supposed to “fix him.”

But why is trying to ‘fix’ someone such a losing game, and why is your energy better spent elsewhere?

Why Do We Try to Fix People?

Blame it on the romance culture we’ve grown up with. From Egyptian films to melodramatic TV series, we’re sold this idea that if we’re patient enough, forgiving enough, or loving enough, we can transform someone into the perfect partner. Spoiler: it doesn’t work.

Here’s why we fall into the trap:

1. You Want to Feel Needed: Being the person who “saves” them can make you feel important, but at what cost?
2. You Mistake Potential for Reality: You’re dating their potential, not who they actually are.
3. You Think It’s Normal: Let’s be real—our culture romanticizes suffering for love. We’re told that true love means sacrifice. But sacrifice should have limits.

What Does the Savior Complex Look Like?

• You’re constantly excusing their behavior because “they’ve had a hard life.”
• You feel drained from always being the one who listens, solves, or cares.
• You believe that if you just try harder, things will get better.

Sound familiar? That’s because you’re pouring from an empty cup. And here’s the thing about empty cups: they break.

Why It’s Not Your Job to Fix Him

Relationships should feel like a partnership, not a charity. You can support someone without trying to “fix him.” In fact, trying to “save” them often backfires because:

1. They Don’t Change: People only change when they decide to. You can’t force it.
2. It Breeds Resentment: Eventually, you’ll resent them for not becoming the person you want them to be.
3. You Lose Yourself: In trying to make them whole, you forget about your own needs.

How to Break Free from the Savior Complex

1. Shift Your Focus Back to You: Instead of asking, “How can I fix them?” ask, “Why do I feel the need to?” Therapy, journaling, or even just talking to a friend can help you unpack this.
2. Set Boundaries: Being there for someone doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being. It’s okay to say, “I can’t handle this right now.”
3. Accept Them as They Are: Love them for who they are, not who you hope they’ll become. And if who they are isn’t enough for you, it’s okay to walk away.
4. Know When to Let Go: If the relationship is leaving you exhausted, emotionally drained, or questioning your worth, it’s time to leave. You deserve someone who’s ready for love, not someone you have to prepare for it.

You’re not selfish for prioritizing your peace. Love isn’t about fixing someone; it’s about growing together. If they’re not ready to meet you halfway, let them go and focus on the person who matters most: you.

Because here’s the truth: you can’t save them. But you can save yourself. And that’s a love story worth living.

Does this hit the tone you’re going for? Let me know if there’s anything you’d like adjusted before we move on to the next one!